Tottenham Insults for Arsenal Fans

1. A tourist is in North London one Saturday and he decides he would very much like to go to a football match, so he asks a man in the street if there are any local matches being played that afternoon.

“Well,” replies the man, “the Arsenal ground is very close but they’re playing away today. If you feel you really must see a match, the Tottenham ground is not that far away. You go straight down this road and you’ll see two queues, a big queue and a small queue.

You should go to the small queue because the big one is for the fish and chip shop.

2. Q. Did you hear the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps?
A. They had pictures of Tottenham players on them and people couldn’t figure out which side to spit on.

3. Q. What do you have when Tottenham fans are buried up to their neck in sand?

A. Not enough sand.

4. You’re locked in a room with a lion, a crocodile, and a Tottenham Fan.
You have a gun with 2 bullets. What should you do?
A. Shoot the Spurs Fan – twice.

Q. A car full of Tottenham fans drive over a cliff! Why is that bad?
A. You can only fit 7 in a car.

Q. Why do Tottenham fans plant turnips round the edge of their gardens?
A. So they have something to lift at the end of the season!